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Somewhere along the way, I realized that I didn’t need to feel guilty about not doing time management correctly. There is no one way to do it. After I shed the guilt I decided to experiment with different approaches to organizing my day.

Colored sticky notes, highlighters and whiteboards? Mindmaps, arrows and circles? They may look weird to others, but to my right brain they work just fine.

And technology helps. I found that using the full functionality of MS Outlook was a lifesaver. Now, as a Mac person, I am still amazed that my calendars synch through some sort of virtual cloud.

I think everyone has to create a fluid system that works for him or her. I also am encouraged that current time management gurus stress strategy over technique. Setting goals and honing in on priorities are what counts. Are you taking the time to sit down and plan your day? Are you working on the right things? Are you able to refocus when necessary?

We all have the same 24 hours. Style doesn’t matter as much as substance. Be open to new tools, create a system that works for you and lose the guilt. It just takes up valuable time.

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I have been hearing the cry of “enough already” from Introverts. Here is a well expressed example from an introverted virtual assistant.

“Much of my work as a virtual assistant involves social media these days. Initially, this was much easier for me to handle as an (extreme) introvert.  Strangely enough, I find that as friend counts climb and the volume of online communication grows, I react with the same sense of overwhelm, stress and exhaustion as I do to live or phone communications. Have you heard this from others?”, she asks.

I spoke with a social networking guru recently who told me the trend is moving away from massive social networks with random friends and towards more selective managable lists of contacts. He pointed me towards FourSquare, a cool application that lets you share places and updates with friends. This may be one answer for introverts (and extroverts alike) who want to get a handle on more meaningful connections.

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Applying the 4 ’s Process to Your Job Search

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Read the rest of my Friday WSJ guest column here: How To Manage An Introvert and let me know if you have other management tips for getting the best out of the innies on your team.

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(click here for more)

http://blog.pdus2go.com/2010/04/30/embrace-solitude/

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A few excerpts with my comments in italics:

Q. What’s it like to work with you day to day? Do you do a lot of all-hands meetings?

A. I’m more low-key. I do walk around. I’m introverted by nature, so I’m not somebody who’s holding sort of big rah-rah meetings. I love the idea of having a big bell outside my office that we can ring when we get a big donation, but it’s just not me. But I do spend time talking with people. She knows herself and what works for her. Connecting one on one works well for introverted leaders.

Q. A lot of managers are introverted, yet they’re expected to be extroverted in leadership roles. What’s your advice for them?

A. Find what fits for you. My predecessor here ran fantastic all-staff meetings every month that were just jaw-droppingly good. She was just so magnetic. I realized pretty quickly that wasn’t a mantle I should try to shoulder. Again, doing it her way, not trying to be someone else.

Q. What’s your best advice to people who are becoming managers for the first time?

A. It’s important that you communicate clearly with people who are going to be reporting to you, that you be as open as possible about who you are, what they should know about you, what they should understand about you, and how you like to operate. Discussing your style is great. Modeling this openness probably helps her team be more open about their preferences. And they know how to approach her.

I remember learning that very early on in my own career — having to sit and think about what I needed to let people know about me. I even said to people that I’ve been told that I look angry a lot of the time, and I’m usually not. It’s just my face, so just don’t be put off by that. Confirms what introverts tell me. People paint all sorts of feelings and attitudes that aren’t there – sadness, depression, etc,  Many female introverts say they are told they are “snobby and stuck up.”

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Fast forward a bit. I am sitting with Sam, a new executive coaching client. A bright, ivy league introverted guy who is managing people for the first time. He shares some feedback about being seen as too intense and intimidating.

I asked him to breathe. Sam squirmed in his chair but consciously took in air and let it out. I asked him to do it more slowly, more deliberately. We even breathed a few breaths at the same time. I encouraged Sam to check in with himself. “How do you feel?”, I asked. “Calmer,” he replied.

That is usually what happens when we conciously take in a breath. Since I smirked about my breathing book gift, I have gotten into yoga. The practice of yoga is all about integrating breathing with movement and quieting the mind. It works. Breathing helps us to focus on the moment we are in – in my book I refer to Presence…being where your feet are. When you are aware of your breathing it is impossible to be nervous or to be revved up.

What else does breathing do? The effect rubs off on the people around you. You are seen as in control and not frantic (even though you might be feeling somewhat like that).

Sam left my office with a tool to try on at work.  He is just tapping into a natural  resource that is free and always readily available. Try it and see the results – a calmer, more focused  you.

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Blogger Breanne Potter, formerly of the MBTI Blog and now of assessmentbuzz.com told me about the proposed  APA (that’s Psychiatric)  definition of introversion for the new DSM. It really is, as she says, taking the concept of introversion backwards.

According to their proposed definition introversion means “withdrawal from other people, ranging from intimate relationships to the world at large; restricted affective experience and expression; limited hedonic capacity.” That is just the beginning.

Now to be fair, most psychiatric definitions seem a little strong but this really does paint introversion as pathological.

Read Breanne’s excellent take on how the APA is moving backwards by seeing Introversion as a personality disorder. And, if you feel strongly about it, let the APA know. I expressed my opinion on their website and they acknowledged my input.  They are taking comments on this new version of the DSM.  You just have to register to comment.  Let the psychiatrists know what you think! Introversion is not a problem to be solved.

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