The Introverted Leader » communication

From The Mouth Of An Introverted Exec

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 02:41:37 +0000

More validation for introverted leaders playing to their strengths. In the Sunday NY Times piece “Rah Rah Isn’t For Everyone” Adam Bryant interviews introverted leader Jilly Stephens, Executive Director of City Harvest.

A few excerpts with my comments in italics:

Q. What’s it like to work with you day to day? Do you do a lot of all-hands meetings?

A. I’m more low-key. I do walk around. I’m introverted by nature, so I’m not somebody who’s holding sort of big rah-rah meetings. I love the idea of having a big bell outside my office that we can ring when we get a big donation, but it’s just not me. But I do spend time talking with people. She knows herself and what works for her. Connecting one on one works well for introverted leaders.

Q. A lot of managers are introverted, yet they’re expected to be extroverted in leadership roles. What’s your advice for them?

A. Find what fits for you. My predecessor here ran fantastic all-staff meetings every month that were just jaw-droppingly good. She was just so magnetic. I realized pretty quickly that wasn’t a mantle I should try to shoulder. Again, doing it her way, not trying to be someone else.

Q. What’s your best advice to people who are becoming managers for the first time?

A. It’s important that you communicate clearly with people who are going to be reporting to you, that you be as open as possible about who you are, what they should know about you, what they should understand about you, and how you like to operate. Discussing your style is great. Modeling this openness probably helps her team be more open about their preferences. And they know how to approach her.

I remember learning that very early on in my own career — having to sit and think about what I needed to let people know about me. I even said to people that I’ve been told that I look angry a lot of the time, and I’m usually not. It’s just my face, so just don’t be put off by that. Confirms what introverts tell me. People paint all sorts of feelings and attitudes that aren’t there – sadness, depression, etc, Many female introverts say they are told they are “snobby and stuck up.”

Tags: introvert, introverted leader, jennifer kahnweiler, jilly stephens

Clapton and his guitar

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:34:57 +0000

I happened to see that Eric Clapton, one of my husband’s real life guitar heroes was in town this week. We grabbed some last minute tix near the stage at the Gwinnett arena and had the most incredible night. Along with thousands of other blue jeaned baby boomers, we were transported by his brilliant riffs.

Clapton took us through a journey of his music through the decades. He was very different from the opening act, Roger Daltry (clearly the extrovert ). He never introduced the songs (we all knew them anyway) and only spoke softly to name the band members after their solos.

He didn’t put on foolish grins or try to win us over. He simply was himself, a gifted musican, clearly in his own world. He let his talent speak, or rather play, for itself.

Clapton grew up an introvert. He spent many hours alone with his guitar dealing with a rough childhood, honing his gift. Later on he battled alcohol and drugs. None of that mattered last night. The man and his guitar shined with a quiet grace. I am so grateful I was there to witness it.

Tags: baby boomers, Clapton, introvert, introverted leader, Introverts, kahnweiler

“Grow Out of Introversion?”

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:35:50 +0000

I usually like the advice that John Rosemond, a parenting expert, gives in his columns. However I agree with Yuri, an introverted professional who wrote to critique a recent column in which Rosemond offered advice to a worried mother of a 4 year old twin. She said,

“My 4-year-old son is not fully engaged when he has a friend over for a play date. His twin sister makes friends easily and the difference between them is glaring. When I arrange a play date for him, he is excited but then, after the friend arrives, he gradually slips off to play by himself. Afterwards, he will tell me he really didn’t have a good time. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can help him become more social? I don’t want him to become a loner.”

Rosemond gave some advice about encouraging the boy to socialize in small doses and wisely told the mother to relax. However his ending statement was not received well by Yuri. Here is what he said,

“….. Introversion isn’t life-threatening. Furthermore, most child-introverts are no longer introverts by the time they’re in their thirties.”

This implies, Yuri wrote, that there is something wrong with people who are naturally introverted. He told me that getting that message early on is a difficult barrier to overcome. And what evidence, he asks, does Rosemond have that introverts are no longer introverts in their 30’s! Quite the contrary. All the evidence points to at least 50% of the population being introverted.

It is interesting that society’s message to socialize and connect starts at a very early age. No wonder, introverted pros have a hard time playing to their temperament in our organizations. The message in our cultures is that it isn’t cool to play alone.

Tags: Myers-Briggs

Tags: introverted leader, Introverts

Women – we have come a long way!

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 01:29:47 +0000

Early in the 1960s, a freelance writer from New York, traveling to Boston to interview a psychologist for a book she was working on, stopped by the Ritz-Carlton Hotel and ordered a drink at the bar. “We do not serve women,” the bartender said, and whisked her off to a little lounge off the women’s restroom, where he brought her the whiskey sour. It was a moment Betty Friedan recalled with humiliation decades later, long after she helped spark a movement that made sure nobody ever got consigned to that lounge again.

At my SWE workshop on The Introverted Leader today, it occured to me how far we have come. These bright women (all introverts) are building rockets and designing battleships. They are also managing people and projects that require a combination of technical prowess and humanity. I am in awe -because from their 20’s through their 50’s, they still face challenges every day in mostly male dominated workplaces. We practiced strategies to be more visible, to network, to speak up and to share our successes.

I feel privileged to help them in this journey towards being powerful leaders – and to be part of this sea change of women taking hold of their power.

Tags: extrovert, introvert, jennifer kahnweiler, Meyers Briggs

Introverts Quietly Can Make An Impact

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:04:35 +0000

Introverts quietly can make big impact By Laura Raines For the AJC Sunday, June 21, 2009 At age 12, Bob Goodyear, now a technical product manager for global software and services corporation Symantec, had to research careers and write a report about one he’d like to do. He skimmed past booklets on doctors and lawyers to find one on computer programmers. He was excited to find a career where he didn’t have to work with people. Enlarge this image Leita Cowart/AJC Special Jennifer Kahnweiler, author of ‘The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength’, says introversion can be managed. Atlanta Jobs News Positivity and preparation open doors Grass-roots 'Angels' help connect seekers, jobs Introverts quietly can make big impact A better work/life balance is possible Companies place value on integrity “I could work with something that didn’t talk back,” he said. “Do you think that was a clue that I’m an introvert?” If not, his reaction to the college curriculum for computer science should have been. He had no problem with the calculus and physics. The public speaking course terrified him. In time, Goodyear made the transition from programming to a high-profile product management position where he presents at conferences a

The Jobs Report – Implications for Introverts

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 00:41:05 +0000

The numbers are still pretty dismal in today’s new jobs report. Now, more than ever, introverted pros must be heard against the blare of the economic downturn. I believe that this background also creates an opportunity for quieter folks to step up and leverage their excellent propensity for listening, asking the right questions and thinking before speaking.

Especially today, when mistakes can be very costly, calm reflection can be an asset. It is just important that those words and well thought out notes see the light of day, or else no one will know about their value. Being out of sight is often being out of mind, so visibility and a little showmanship can go a long way when workers are being assessed.

The full report:

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/467K-jobs-cut-in-June-jobless-apf-749843232.html?x=0&sec=topStories&pos=main&asset=&ccode=

The unemployment rate is at a 26-year high of 9.5 percent.
The economy has lost 6.5 million jobs since the recession began in December 2007.
A total of 14.7 million people are currently unemployed.
Economists predict the jobless rate will hit 10 percent this year and keep rising into 2010.
Economists also predict that the unemployment rate won’t return to normal l — 5 percent — until 2013.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/467K-jobs-cut-in-June-jobless-apf-749843232.html?x=0&sec=topStories&pos=main&asset=&ccode=

Tags: Introverts, jobs report, unemployment

Bias Againist Introverts

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 22:45:02 +0000

I met a very extroverted guy on line waiting at my local coffee shop. We started making conversation and the discussion moved to my fave topic – introverts and extroverts in the workplace Turns out he was a frustrated sales manager. ” I try to talk to these Tech (GA) grads, who are all Engineers and they just stare at me. They hide out and don’t talk. One of our introverted bosses just stands at my cube and will never take a seat. He has one foot out the door…..what is with these people!? ”

This “introvert bias” is all too common. The extrovert’s frustration is real but how about getting rid of the judgment first? My next entry will address some tips for the extrovert to better connect with introverts. But the first task is to get rid of that pointing finger, don’t you think?

Tags: Introverts

Try “Brainwriting” for a change

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 03:06:00 +0000

Want to get both the introverts and extroverts in the room to contribute thoughtful responses? Try taking a break from talking out ideas and switch to writing them down. The ideas you circulate will build on eachother.Everytime I have been involved in this activity I am amazed at the richness of the cumulative responses.

See this description, let me know if you have tried this and how it has gone. http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/Features/Corporate-Dossier/Try-brainwriting-if-bored-by-brainstorming-sessions/articleshow/4442442.cms

Tags: brainstorming, brainwriting, Introverts

Is the president an introvert?

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 02:55:53 +0000

President Obama an introvert? Note what he tells Ed Henry of CNN at his recent press conference. ” I like to know what I am talking about before I speak.” Is that a clue? We already know that he is a great listener. On the other hand, some have commented that it was his way of putting off the question from Henry(about waiting to act on AIG bonuses). What do you think? Is our new President an introverted leader?

http://tiny.cc/8BvMa

Tags: cnn, ed henry, introvert, leader, obama

To Tweet or Not To Tweet

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 13:04:11 +0000

My early adopter friends have been using Twitter for a while and I know I will be moving into the fray soon. Have started to hear about some valuable connections, job opportunities and “inside scoops” on companies.

Do you think extroverts and introverts differ in how(and even if) they are twittering? Extroverts tend to like to share details of their life(ex. waiting on the carpool line at school, etc. ) and like to connect with LOTS of people. With their more private nature and their preference for writing, are introverts a) twittering and b)sharing different kinds of (less personal information to fewer, more select contacts). Your thoughts?

I love the analogy to the wild west with this whole social networking phenom…Some people ventured out west and never made it..others did the same and ended up owning half of Colorado. We are all pioneers in this new age and it is both exciting and frustrating for extroverts and introverts alike.

Tags: Introverts, social networking for introverts, twitter

The Introverted Leader » communication

From The Mouth Of An Introverted Exec

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