The Introverted Leader » introvert

From The Mouth Of An Introverted Exec

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 02:41:37 +0000

More validation for introverted leaders playing to their strengths. In the Sunday NY Times piece “Rah Rah Isn’t For Everyone” Adam Bryant interviews introverted leader Jilly Stephens, Executive Director of City Harvest.

A few excerpts with my comments in italics:

Q. What’s it like to work with you day to day? Do you do a lot of all-hands meetings?

A. I’m more low-key. I do walk around. I’m introverted by nature, so I’m not somebody who’s holding sort of big rah-rah meetings. I love the idea of having a big bell outside my office that we can ring when we get a big donation, but it’s just not me. But I do spend time talking with people. She knows herself and what works for her. Connecting one on one works well for introverted leaders.

Q. A lot of managers are introverted, yet they’re expected to be extroverted in leadership roles. What’s your advice for them?

A. Find what fits for you. My predecessor here ran fantastic all-staff meetings every month that were just jaw-droppingly good. She was just so magnetic. I realized pretty quickly that wasn’t a mantle I should try to shoulder. Again, doing it her way, not trying to be someone else.

Q. What’s your best advice to people who are becoming managers for the first time?

A. It’s important that you communicate clearly with people who are going to be reporting to you, that you be as open as possible about who you are, what they should know about you, what they should understand about you, and how you like to operate. Discussing your style is great. Modeling this openness probably helps her team be more open about their preferences. And they know how to approach her.

I remember learning that very early on in my own career — having to sit and think about what I needed to let people know about me. I even said to people that I’ve been told that I look angry a lot of the time, and I’m usually not. It’s just my face, so just don’t be put off by that. Confirms what introverts tell me. People paint all sorts of feelings and attitudes that aren’t there – sadness, depression, etc, Many female introverts say they are told they are “snobby and stuck up.”

Tags: introvert, introverted leader, jennifer kahnweiler, jilly stephens

Taking Introversion Backwards – Tell the APA What You Think

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 02:13:05 +0000

I heard references to this recently but it didn’t hit me head on until I received a tweet this a.m.

Blogger Breanne Potter, formerly of the MBTI Blog and now of assessmentbuzz.com told me about the proposed APA (that’s Psychiatric) definition of introversion for the new DSM. It really is, as she says, taking the concept of introversion backwards.

According to their proposed definition introversion means “withdrawal from other people, ranging from intimate relationships to the world at large; restricted affective experience and expression; limited hedonic capacity.” That is just the beginning.

Now to be fair, most psychiatric definitions seem a little strong but this really does paint introversion as pathological.

Read Breanne’s excellent take on how the APA is moving backwards by seeing Introversion as a personality disorder. And, if you feel strongly about it, let the APA know. I expressed my opinion on their website and they acknowledged my input. They are taking comments on this new version of the DSM. You just have to register to comment. Let the psychiatrists know what you think! Introversion is not a problem to be solved.

Tags: Breanne Potter, DSM, introversion, introvert, introverted leader, Introverts, jennifer kahnweiler

Clapton and his guitar

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:34:57 +0000

I happened to see that Eric Clapton, one of my husband’s real life guitar heroes was in town this week. We grabbed some last minute tix near the stage at the Gwinnett arena and had the most incredible night. Along with thousands of other blue jeaned baby boomers, we were transported by his brilliant riffs.

Clapton took us through a journey of his music through the decades. He was very different from the opening act, Roger Daltry (clearly the extrovert ). He never introduced the songs (we all knew them anyway) and only spoke softly to name the band members after their solos.

He didn’t put on foolish grins or try to win us over. He simply was himself, a gifted musican, clearly in his own world. He let his talent speak, or rather play, for itself.

Clapton grew up an introvert. He spent many hours alone with his guitar dealing with a rough childhood, honing his gift. Later on he battled alcohol and drugs. None of that mattered last night. The man and his guitar shined with a quiet grace. I am so grateful I was there to witness it.

Tags: baby boomers, Clapton, introvert, introverted leader, Introverts, kahnweiler

An Introvert Asks: How Do I Get People to Hear Me At Meetings?

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 16:44:35 +0000

After a seminar I did last week for Execunet, I received many questions – some of which I am still responding to (Thank you listeners!) After responding to this question I decided to post it on Linked In and thought the answers were terrific. Ask and ye shall receive. They range from the standard, (”Go to Toastmasters”) to the old teacher trick of waiting until everyone is quiet to strut your stuff.

Which answer do you think I should rate as “The Best?”

Kudos to you Linked In Answer Gurus also.

Tags: introvert, jennifer kahnweiler, meetings, toastmasters

The Reporter as Introvert

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 03:27:59 +0000

I have done numerous interviews with reporters over the last few months. It has been enlightening to explore their views on the topic of I’s and E’s in the workplace.

I would say 98% of reporters are self proclaimed introverts. Our interviews often last longer than the alloted time. I find that the best stories have been the ones where we engaged in this give and take.

I love hearing their “ah ah’s ” and anecdotes – one reporter reminisced about hiding in the broom closet at a company reception. Another described the quiet mountain scene outside her window and her love of solitude in nature. Another, Taylor Mallory, Editor of the Little PINK Book shared some of her personal insights in her blog entry, “If I Am Not Talking, I Am Thinking!” I know you will enjoy her reflections.

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“Grow Out of Introversion?”

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 21:35:50 +0000

I usually like the advice that John Rosemond, a parenting expert, gives in his columns. However I agree with Yuri, an introverted professional who wrote to critique a recent column in which Rosemond offered advice to a worried mother of a 4 year old twin. She said,

“My 4-year-old son is not fully engaged when he has a friend over for a play date. His twin sister makes friends easily and the difference between them is glaring. When I arrange a play date for him, he is excited but then, after the friend arrives, he gradually slips off to play by himself. Afterwards, he will tell me he really didn’t have a good time. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can help him become more social? I don’t want him to become a loner.”

Rosemond gave some advice about encouraging the boy to socialize in small doses and wisely told the mother to relax. However his ending statement was not received well by Yuri. Here is what he said,

“….. Introversion isn’t life-threatening. Furthermore, most child-introverts are no longer introverts by the time they’re in their thirties.”

This implies, Yuri wrote, that there is something wrong with people who are naturally introverted. He told me that getting that message early on is a difficult barrier to overcome. And what evidence, he asks, does Rosemond have that introverts are no longer introverts in their 30’s! Quite the contrary. All the evidence points to at least 50% of the population being introverted.

It is interesting that society’s message to socialize and connect starts at a very early age. No wonder, introverted pros have a hard time playing to their temperament in our organizations. The message in our cultures is that it isn’t cool to play alone.

Tags: Myers-Briggs

Tags: introverted leader, Introverts

Women – we have come a long way!

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 01:29:47 +0000

Early in the 1960s, a freelance writer from New York, traveling to Boston to interview a psychologist for a book she was working on, stopped by the Ritz-Carlton Hotel and ordered a drink at the bar. “We do not serve women,” the bartender said, and whisked her off to a little lounge off the women’s restroom, where he brought her the whiskey sour. It was a moment Betty Friedan recalled with humiliation decades later, long after she helped spark a movement that made sure nobody ever got consigned to that lounge again.

At my SWE workshop on The Introverted Leader today, it occured to me how far we have come. These bright women (all introverts) are building rockets and designing battleships. They are also managing people and projects that require a combination of technical prowess and humanity. I am in awe -because from their 20’s through their 50’s, they still face challenges every day in mostly male dominated workplaces. We practiced strategies to be more visible, to network, to speak up and to share our successes.

I feel privileged to help them in this journey towards being powerful leaders – and to be part of this sea change of women taking hold of their power.

Tags: extrovert, introvert, jennifer kahnweiler, Meyers Briggs

Practice – the strategy of choice

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 22:35:58 +0000

In my research on introverted leaders, I found that focused practice was a consistent part of the plan.They took every opportunity to speak in public, drive discussion with their bosses and inspire team members when needed. Whatever they felt compelled to work on, they did – 100 plus percent.

My friend, Marty Mercer, recently happened upon Tiger Woods in a hotel gym. TW was engaged in a vigorous weight work out, after having played in a tournament all day.

I really enjoyed this NY Times piece (9/12/09) which highlights the roots of comedian Jay Leno’s drive for success. He never lets up – always working on his act. As a Dyslexic who was even advised by a counselor to leave school, he faced one obstacle after another.

Being at the top of our game, whether on the stage, the playing field or in the boardroom, requires this single minded focus. I don’t think this practice is all drudgery either. With goals set and results seen, the practice time can be one of challenge and satisfaction – at times it even may be fun (in Leno’s case, let’s hope so!)…

“Mr. Leno continues to be a brute for work. Last year, even working 46 weeks on “Tonight,” he managed to perform his stand-up act on 160 dates. It is not uncommon for him to finish taping a show and then fly off somewhere like Fresno, Calif., where he appeared this summer at a chicken festival in 104-degree heat. He said he had just as many stand-up appearances booked for this year, even with the new show.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/12/arts/television/12leno.html?pagewanted=2&sq=leno&st=cse&scp=2

Tags: introverted leaders, Introverts, jay leno, jennifer kahnweiler

Introverts Quietly Can Make An Impact

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 17:04:35 +0000

Introverts quietly can make big impact By Laura Raines For the AJC Sunday, June 21, 2009 At age 12, Bob Goodyear, now a technical product manager for global software and services corporation Symantec, had to research careers and write a report about one he’d like to do. He skimmed past booklets on doctors and lawyers to find one on computer programmers. He was excited to find a career where he didn’t have to work with people. Enlarge this image Leita Cowart/AJC Special Jennifer Kahnweiler, author of ‘The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength’, says introversion can be managed. Atlanta Jobs News Positivity and preparation open doors Grass-roots 'Angels' help connect seekers, jobs Introverts quietly can make big impact A better work/life balance is possible Companies place value on integrity “I could work with something that didn’t talk back,” he said. “Do you think that was a clue that I’m an introvert?” If not, his reaction to the college curriculum for computer science should have been. He had no problem with the calculus and physics. The public speaking course terrified him. In time, Goodyear made the transition from programming to a high-profile product management position where he presents at conferences a

The Jobs Report – Implications for Introverts

Jennifer Kahnweiler — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 00:41:05 +0000

The numbers are still pretty dismal in today’s new jobs report. Now, more than ever, introverted pros must be heard against the blare of the economic downturn. I believe that this background also creates an opportunity for quieter folks to step up and leverage their excellent propensity for listening, asking the right questions and thinking before speaking.

Especially today, when mistakes can be very costly, calm reflection can be an asset. It is just important that those words and well thought out notes see the light of day, or else no one will know about their value. Being out of sight is often being out of mind, so visibility and a little showmanship can go a long way when workers are being assessed.

The full report:

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/467K-jobs-cut-in-June-jobless-apf-749843232.html?x=0&sec=topStories&pos=main&asset=&ccode=

The unemployment rate is at a 26-year high of 9.5 percent.
The economy has lost 6.5 million jobs since the recession began in December 2007.
A total of 14.7 million people are currently unemployed.
Economists predict the jobless rate will hit 10 percent this year and keep rising into 2010.
Economists also predict that the unemployment rate won’t return to normal l — 5 percent — until 2013.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/467K-jobs-cut-in-June-jobless-apf-749843232.html?x=0&sec=topStories&pos=main&asset=&ccode=

Tags: Introverts, jobs report, unemployment

The Introverted Leader » introvert

From The Mouth Of An Introverted Exec

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Clapton and his guitar

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