Actors like Streep prepare extensively to take us into the world of that character. Likewise, introverts often emphasize how much they prepare for meetings, calls, presentations, etc. so that they perform at their best ( a side note: Meryl Streep is an introvert like many actors).  Yet, despite careful preparation, you can’t always anticipate what is thrown at you.  Handling the moment sometimes trumps preparation.

In this clip of her recent  Golden Globes Acceptance Speech  a great actress is a normal human being. In the blush of winning and kissing her way up to the stage, Ms. Streep forgot her glasses. So how did she handle it? She was refreshingly real (they bleeped out the “Oh ____” ), cracked some jokes and complimented the other nominees (some even more than once:)

I loved her rambling, laughing performance where she played the character she knows best: herself.  Perhaps an extra glass of wine helped. Any scripted thank you she might have had was gone and there she was, like the rest of us, dealing with an “Oh ___” moment.  I will take that real performance over a carefully rehearsed acceptance speech any day.

I am impressed at my recent coaching clients who are highly successful in their fields but who continually seek to improve themselves. It is not that they are dissatisfied with their performance.  They could easily rest on their achievements. But like Dr. Gawande they seek continuous learning and improvement to become better versions of themselves.

He eloquently writes, ” The sort of coaching that fosters effective innovation and judgment, not merely the replication of technique, may not be so easy to cultivate. Yet modern society increasingly depends on ordinary people taking responsibility for doing extraordinary things: operating inside people’s bodies, teaching eighth graders algebraic concepts that Euclid would have struggled with, building a highway through a mountain, constructing a wireless computer network across a state, running a factory, reducing a city’s crime rate. In the absence of guidance, how many people can do such complex tasks at the level we require? With a diploma, a few will achieve sustained mastery; with a good coach, many could. We treat guidance for professionals as a luxury—you can guess what gets cut first when school-district budgets are slashed. But coaching may prove essential to the success of modern society.”

What is your coaching plan for 2012? How about asking a respected colleague to observe you and offer feedback?

I received an email from Nancy Crosby, a Group Manager at the IRS in Lansing Michigan who had attended my leadership program several years ago. Nancy told me about a piece in the Washington Post that “comments on inaccurate characterization and unfair stereotyping of introverts in government. It references a book by Steven L. Katz, author of Lion Taming, Working Successfully with Leaders, Bosses, and other Tough Customers.Apparently Mr. Katz argues the problem is that government attracts too many introverts, perpetuating “government of loners” who don’t want to rock the boat. In order to foster innovation, he recommends that agencies recruit extroverted personalities.”

The Washington Post writer, Alicia Mazzara, asked several government workers about their response to the question about why we don’t have more innovation in government. Their rebuttals are right on. We are not misanthropes, they said, and the lack of innovation is due more to a culture that discourages it than dimensions of introversion or extroversion. Carol Davison, a human resource specialist at the Department of Commerce said, “There is nothing wrong with us. We aren’t afraid of people, lacking in social skills, timid, super sensitive, or need to feel safe. We are introverts because we lose energy to social interactions, so we limit it.”

John Kosar, Client Manager, CCCi

Last week I had the pleasure of working with a fave introverted leader, John Kosar.   Presentation skills coach Kelly Vandever  who introduced us, once called him the “epitome of an introverted leader.”

John is a Client Manager with IT staffing firm, CCCi and his latest assignment is at the  The Southern Company, one of America’s largest generators of electricity.  He  has organized a number of well attended programs with technology leaders. and is committed to working with IT pros to help them succeed. On Halloween  his company hosted an appreciation luncheon for the teams of IT pros at the Southern Company and gifted each attendee with a copy of  The Introverted Leader. I spoke with them about why introverts are leaders, the 4 steps introverted leaders take to succeed and what we miss when we don’t tap into their strengths.

John recruits and retains all types of IT folks and knows the importance of developing strong communication and people skills. Check out these short video clips

John on why getting out from behind the computer is important.

John on how getting involved in user groups helps you be a better professional. 

I look forward to many more collaborations with introverted leaders like John Kosar who truly walk their talk.

Slave to an uncooperative GPS, I found myself driving 5 miles down a cow path to the next dirt road. Red barns shining in the sun, green grass shimmering and not a bathroom to be seen. As I alternated between slight panic and awe at nature’s splendor,  I wondered where the people had gone to in this twilight zone reality. There were houses and cars but not a person anywhere. I saw a tractor, a few kids selling pumpkins but no stores. There were billboards but definitely no nail salons. I finally saw a real road in the  distance and inhaled and exhaled  relief when I realized I actually might arrive before dark.

I rolled into town, even happy to find my hotel with the “No Dirty Workboots Inside” sign. I grabbed a sandwich in one of two restaurants in town before closing time at 8:00  p.m. and stumbled upon open mike night at a sweet little bar. Guitar music, friendly folks and a warm laid back feeling in this comfy small town.

The next day I found an eager and positive group of eight technical managers ready to learn, engage and support each other with their leadership challenges. Occasionally, talk of hunting, farming and drinking entered the room. The two days went by quickly (at least for me) and before leaving I told them they were the favorite class I had ever taught (in Coudersport!). We all laughed and I jumped into my Corolla with promises to stay in touch. I  made it back to the Buffalo airport armed with new directions (and a different GPS).

One of the many gifts of my work is the chance to travel.  It takes me outside the comfort zone of suburban Dunwoody, GA.   While that travel isn’t always glamorous how else could I meet wholesome people and learn about hunting, farming and dirty work boots? I look forward to the next adventure.

Famous Introverted Leaders

1. Head of the most well-known soup company in the world.
2. A female CEO whose company helps women looks their best.
3. A global philanthropist who founded a company located in Redmond, Washington.
4. His social media site has more than 750 million users.
5. The French female scientist who discovered radium.
6. The film director has a reputation for innovative special effects.
7. The 16^thU.S. president of the U.S.
8. The American humorist who wrote two bestsellers about boys getting into mischief.
9. An Indian leader who practiced non-violent protest.
10. A Swiss psychoanalyst whose personality theory inspired the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).

Answers:

1. Doug Conant

2. Andrea Jung

3. Bill Gates

4. Mark Zuckerberg

5. Marie Curie

6. Steven Spielberg

7. Abraham Lincoln

8. Mark Twain

9. Mahatma Gandhi

10. Carl Jung

I agree that it is often the non-verbals that kill the deal. Judging by the  WSJ comments, not everyone agrees. Some write that this kind of training unfairly focuses on women. Others think that it is a topic not even worth writing about. And a few link it to credibilty. I agree with the last camp. How we dress, how we sound and how we use our body do form an impression.

The often quoted stats are that 73% of our impact concerns our vocal and non-verbal presence. While these numbers have been questioned, I do think it is generally true. Leaders can command a room or they can speak and have their message land with a thud. It can be their tight shirt,  lack of eye contact or chair slouching. Either way, it is typically not the content but how they present themselves when delivering it. Introverted and extroverted leaders alike can work at coming across in a more  confident manner.

So how do you get started on enhancing your presence?

The best advice in the article came from James Citron a CEO recruiter for search firm Spencer Stuart. “Imitate their behaviors “that feel comfortable and natural for you,” he recommends. Mr. Citrin cites a CEO candidate he recently watched being interviewed by the board search committee at a $10-billion company. Among other things, the prospect “looked the committee members alternately straight in the eye” as he answered their questions “slowly but very clearly.”

There is the right answer; you shouldn’t. There is also the grey response; sometimes it is okay. With the stress everyone faces these days, let’s be real. Sometimes the cursing (or “cussing” as we say down here in Atlanta) feels plain good.

But do be careful about who hears you AND about making it a habit. I sat next to another speaker recently whose body visibly shook as she heard our mutual colleague use a few choice words. Also – it just is not a career enhancing move to be known as the office potty mouth.

Who do you think curses more? Introverts or Extroverts? Because they talk more, are outies the number one cursers? Or, because introverts sometimes bottle up their feelings, do they let them out in form of expletives?

What do you think?

With social media, it is now easier for journalists to find you. Nettie Hartsock, social media strategist, pointed out that over 75% of people writing stories are freelancers who are going to Google to find their sources. How can you be one of the “go to” sources for this pool of reporters?

In my opinion, it is all about helping them out in four key ways.

1)    Pitch them a different angle. When I started my first consulting business in Cincinnati in 1986 I would call up local print reporters with new angles on workplace stories. I had carved out a niche in coaching dual career couples and because women in the workplace were hot, this topic drew them. Dual career couples were a new, growing phenomenon. I began calling them and pitching them other ideas. They seemed to always be looking for that different, timely and counterintuitive take…and still are.

2)    Thank them. This also goes for the times they don’t interview you but ask for some information. You would (or perhaps would not) be surprised to learn that this is an unusual act. Journalists are often evaluated by the number of comments written about their pieces. Sending out their articles to your social networks is another way to express your gratitude and raise their visibility.

3)    Be Generous. Contact journalists when you don’t need something. Send them websites, blog entries and events that might interest them. Also recommend your colleagues and peers as sources. Reporters will be grateful to find terrific resources and they will most assuredly circle back to you on future stories.

4)    Listen well. Over 90% of the 50 journalists I have spoken with about my book, The Introverted Leader: Building On Your Quiet Strength (Berrett-Koehler, 2009) have been introverted. It is a common personality preference for reporters who are self-reflective, inner focused and spend much of their day in the solitary pursuits of research and writing. When I listen to them, they openly share their stories and personal experiences. Most often I have felt  that we were more like colleagues engaged in a stimulating dialogue than reporter and interviewee. The best stories seem to emerge after these discussions.
It is about helping reporters to do their work. The wins are waiting for you and your business.