When was the last time you came back to your office and listened to 100 voicemails? More likely you responded to the many emails in your inbox.
I reached my saturation point a few weeks ago after I realized that I had not one live conversation all day. That is an energy drain for an extrovert. The real tipping point came during a back and forth email dialogue with an introverted work colleague.
As our email tennis match proceeded, I could see the misunderstandings multiply. I wrote him an email to ask for a five minute phone call to clear up the issue. He wrote back, asking me if we could “settle it on email”. “No way,” I thought. “It would take more time to write each other again that it will to talk.”
So, a bit nervously, I picked up the phone and dialed his number anyway. We had a brief conversation in which he explained his position and we discussed several viable options. The matter was resolved in four minutes.
I know that, as an introvert, he prefers to communicate via email. As an extrovert, I agree — most of our communication can be handled that way. I also believe that a personality preference is not a prescription for every situation. There are times when we need to be able to ask each other questions, dig a little deeper, and listen to a person’s voice tone to better understand their point of view. We also need to clearly express what we mean.
To what degree should the situation drive the communication mode? How much do you moderate your preferred style to accommodate others?
At a recent book signing, Sheri, an introverted training manager, told me she holds onto an image from nature to comfort her when she feels overpowered by extroverted team members.
As a proud introvert, Sheri relates to the great blue heron. This bird will stalk prey slowly and deliberately. They are solitary or small-group foragers. While the geese are loudly squawking, or doing what geese do, she… Continue reading the rest of this article...
I love the universality of the introverted leadership theme. Language is no barrier when we strive to deepen our understanding of temperaments. Continue reading the rest of this article...
I am not sure how I feel about this. Easy for me to say as an adult, but isn’t the school bus a kind of learning lab for social interaction? We learn how to make conversations and talk to people different than ourselves. We even get some experience in fending off the mean girls and rough boys. And what about getting the real scoop about teachers and school policies, etc.??? All of these are skills that serve us well as we swing through the workplace. Continue reading the rest of this article...
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Congratulations on your new blog, Jennifer! I just subscribed to it and look forward to reading more of your wisdom. I can relate to that email tennis match and find that when I do pick up the phone to resolve an issue it usually reminds the other person that this is always an option.
When it comes to technology, it’s good to remember the benefits and drawbacks of each option.
Being an introvert, I find that email helps us state our points easier, without all the expressions that sometimes bring anxiety.
I have started doing both. Calling people, talking to them if I catch them, leaving a vm if I don’t. Then, I immediately send an email saying that I left them a vm. That way I cover my bases in terms of their preferred style of communication, and I have a voice message into them. More often than not, that person calls me back and we talk v2v. So, I say, double team them to speed up the communication cycle and improve the accuracy!
I’ve stopped doing the e-mail tennis matches. Once I see more than 2 e-mails about the same issue, I pick up the phone to figure out what is going on. What I’ve found is that resolution to most issues can be had with a short “live” conversation rather than the seemingly endless e-mail strings. My concern is that people are hiding behind e-mail because it is “easier”. My guess is that my own personal frustration with the e-mail games is that, as an extrovert, I prefer to talk to a “voice” rather than an electronic transmission. When I am out of the office without access to e-mail and I am copied on a bunch of e-mails with the same subject, I delete, without reading, all but the latest.
I agree with y’all. LaTonya’s point about reducing anxiety for the sender of the message is well taken. It is just when a loaded or unclear message reaches my side of the court is it okay to give you a call?