Clapton took us through a journey of his music through the decades. He was very different from the opening act, Roger Daltry (clearly the extrovert ). He never introduced the songs (we all knew them anyway) and only spoke softly to name the band members after their solos.

He didn’t put on foolish grins or try to win us over. He simply was himself, a gifted musican, clearly in his own world.  He let his talent speak, or rather play, for itself.

Clapton grew up an introvert. He spent many hours alone with his guitar dealing with a rough childhood,  honing his gift.  Later on he battled alcohol and drugs. None of that mattered last night. The man and his guitar shined with a quiet grace. I am so grateful I was there to witness it.

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As a proud introvert, Sheri relates to the great blue heron. This bird will stalk prey slowly and deliberately. They are solitary or small-group foragers. While the geese are loudly squawking, or doing what geese do, she thinks about the blue heron and it gives her a sense of peace.

I mentioned this in my recent newsletter and received some interesting reactions. Here is sampling:

From Bob Cady: ” Read your newsletter and enjoyed your jottings. Keep it up. The Blue Heron story reminds me that each of us believes in the stories that feature US. Isn’t it the truth. The eagle is shaking its head about that slow old bird. No wonder he’s so thin. Doesn’t eat much…the ‘tortoise and the hare’ is supposed to be a fable about sticking to it and relentless pursuit of goals. The Intros love the tortoise. We are supposed to reject the hare because it is reckless and thoughtless. However, each has its good and bad points, as we all do. That Blue Heron…..is just doing its thing. The extroverted, fast acting eagle also has a nature….The Heron is not, after all  the symbol of our country. In most of the stories you read, the character that is the quiet, introverted, slow, low voiced speaker when the President needs someone to solve the world crisis, is the one chosen to lead the exercise….”

From Kathy Greider: “Thanks for the great blue story — made me think about when I worked in an office. I always surrounded myself with as much nature as possible (plants, sea shells, round beach stones and lots of photos)  when I was upset I would find myself rubbing the shells and stones to calm down.  It always worked — and still does….Thanks for sharing this — maybe it will help others.”

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After lots of emails, and several stops and starts, they arrived at my home office  to film me on Saturday.  I was asked all about what  strengths introverts have, why some leaders are considered introverts and what managers can do to bring out introverts.

Laurie Nichols, non-profit consultant extroadinare, participated in an exec coaching session with me as the film crew documented our dialogue. We had a few “lost in translation” moments, but for the most part, Jinwoo, our interpretor and asst. producer did great. Even introvert husband Bill got into the act as the crew wanted to see how I’s and E’s live together. They also interviewed Kim Bui, Exec Producer at CNN, who has such respect as a calm, level headed manager in the company.

I love the universality of the introverted leadership theme. Language is no barrier when we strive to deepen our understanding of temperaments.

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So I was interested in this article by NY Times writer Sam Dillon about a new trend – wired buses? Wi-Fi Turns Rowdy Bus Into Rolling Study Hall. Apparently, there is a Tuscon, Arizona school district that is touting real results. By allowing kids to do their homework to and from school, performance is improving. Most are very pleased with the new bus.

I am not sure how I feel about this.  Easy for me to say as an adult,  but isn’t the school bus a kind of learning lab for social interaction? We learn how to make conversations and talk to people different than ourselves. We even get some experience in fending off the mean girls and rough boys. And what about getting the real scoop about teachers and school policies, etc.??? All of these are skills that serve us well as we swing through the workplace.

At the same time it seems that allowing introverts the chance to retreat before they have to interact all day at school could be a plus. And how about the extroverts? Might they benefit from a bit of quiet before they hit the school yard? I guess having Facebook available could serve some of their socializing needs.

With the choice of retreating into our laptops 24-7, we need to allow some time to engage with others. Otherwise those people skills become rusty and it is too easy to miss even the beauty of the Arizona landscape.

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Weisberg writes, “….so while many people deeply admire him, few come away from any encounter feeling closer to him. He’s not warm, loyal, or deeply involved with others. His most fervent enthusiasts tend to express affection more for the ideas he represents—America transcending its racial history, a fairer society, rational decision making—than for the man himself.

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I look forward to my daily Google Alerts. This morning I found this gem posted on an IVillage,com message board called “The Lipstick Lounge”

date:

“I’m a social introvert. It’s hard for me to be this way because I like people, I like interacting and sometimes I wonder why I don’t get my energy around them or can’t be like social extroverts who can go, go, go when they are around people. It took me a long time to realize I need my down time, and being fine alone and being happy alone isn’t a bad thing.

Because I don’t get my energy from other people doesn’t mean I can’t interact with them. Running is something that wears me down too (I’m not a runner, I don’t even get that ‘runner’s high’), but I still do it though I end up needing to rest afterwards. It’s kind of the same idea.”

I love how the writer demonstrates self acceptance. And she turns the myth about reclusive introverts on it’s head. Just give me some down time to recover, say the introverts.

Also – what a great analogy about the Push strategy of forcing yourself to run and then recouping. My guess is that the writer has developed socializing ease through her disciplined execution.

Thank you “Sparkle.Tangerine” for your well expressed wisdom.

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Unlike many interviews, where there is some prep, Tony and I winged it. I think it made the conversation more natural and lively. At one point, I referenced holding a drink at a social function and quickly changed the word “drink” to “gingerale”. Tony chided me and said, “Oh, you think  just because I am a pastor, I just drink gingerale.”  I want to be “politically correct,” was my retort. I think we included humor and quite  bit of content in the 14 minute conversation.

It is not truly accurate to say that we did not prepare. Each of us has developed expertise in our respective areas. We just didn’t memorize lines for this one. I believe that being present allowed both of us to  flow with the  conversation.

Check out An Introvert Interviews an Extrovert On Introverted Leaders and let me know if you agree.

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One morning, it was cloudy and when I stopped to say hello. I asked Peter if the locals welcomed the gray skies. He smiled his sweet smile and said in his beautiful, slow and cadenced voice, “You know, we just accept it.”

I came home from our lovely holiday relaxed, with new vigor. Then my website crashed, a client disappeared and on and on. I then remembered my gentle street sweeper friend and his calm demeanor.In a slightly altered version of a popular question, I now ask,  ”What would Peter do?” And almost always the answer is acceptance. If I do that first,  I can move into action if necessary. Sounds  a lot like the successful introverted leaders I researched. They don’t go into a panic and react to circumstances they cannot control, even in the midst of chaos.

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Plugging into a cold network of professional and personal connections is hard. People want to know that you are interested in them from time to time, not just when you are job seeking.

So if Sam’s sibling does want to talk to me, I will suggest that he waste no time in connecting with work and professional colleagues, past and present.

I will also share three steps he can take immediately.

1) Prepare 5 questions to ask your contacts on your phone meetings. Show genuine interest in their challenges and successes. It is not all about you. How can you demonstrate knowledge and competence and learn as much as you can in your networking meetings?

2) Study names and use them. Repeat them at least 5 times ( saying it in your head is fine!)

3) When you attend networking events,  follow the advice of a wise introverted networker, He says ” I tell myself I can do anything for 30 minutes!”

And if Sam’s brother doesn’t want to meet with me, that’s okay. I can go ahead and follow my own advice.

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I also plan on checking out  Daniel Pink’s top 10 books from this year. Any other suggestions are welcome! What book have you not been able to put down?

Happy Holidays to All!

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