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From The Mouth Of An Introverted Exec

More validation for introverted leaders playing to their strengths. In the Sunday NY Times piece “Rah Rah Isn’t For Everyone” Adam Bryant interviews introverted leader Jilly Stephens, Executive Director of City Harvest.

A few excerpts with my comments in italics:

Q. What’s it like to work with you day to day? Do you do a lot of all-hands meetings?

A. I’m more low-key. I do walk around. I’m introverted by nature, so I’m not somebody who’s holding sort of big rah-rah meetings. I love the idea of having a big bell outside my office that we can ring when we get a big donation, but it’s just not me. But I do spend time talking with people. She knows herself and what works for her. Connecting one on one works well for introverted leaders.

Q. A lot of managers are introverted, yet they’re expected to be extroverted in leadership roles. What’s your advice for them?

A. Find what fits for you. My predecessor here ran fantastic all-staff meetings every month that were just jaw-droppingly good. She was just so magnetic. I realized pretty quickly that wasn’t a mantle I should try to shoulder. Again, doing it her way, not trying to be someone else.

Q. What’s your best advice to people who are becoming managers for the first time?

A. It’s important that you communicate clearly with people who are going to be reporting to you, that you be as open as possible about who you are, what they should know about you, what they should understand about you, and how you like to operate. Discussing your style is great. Modeling this openness probably helps her team be more open about their preferences. And they know how to approach her.

I remember learning that very early on in my own career — having to sit and think about what I needed to let people know about me. I even said to people that I’ve been told that I look angry a lot of the time, and I’m usually not. It’s just my face, so just don’t be put off by that. Confirms what introverts tell me. People paint all sorts of feelings and attitudes that aren’t there – sadness, depression, etc,  Many female introverts say they are told they are “snobby and stuck up.”

-- For quick access to a few recent posts:

There is nothing quite as nerve-racking as walking up to the stage to expose your every weakness, physical and mental, before an audience who is all too familiar with the repertoire. You think you will make a mistake, then you do, and everybody knows when it happened. Continue reading the rest of this article...

“They (Introverts) just didn’t place a larger weight on social stimuli than they did on any other stimuli, of which flowers are one example,” said.

“[This] supports the claim that introverts, or their brains, might be indifferent to people — they can take them or leave them, so to speak. The introvert’s brain treats interactions with people the same way it treats encounters with other, non-human information, such as inanimate objects for example,” Inna Fishman said.
They concluded that, “The results strongly suggest that human faces, or people in general, hold more significance for extroverts, or are more meaningful for them.” Continue reading the rest of this article...

What’s mystifying to Stewart—and likely to anyone with either a shred of empathy or a tendency to clam up in public—is the looking- glass reality in which her manner, rather than eliciting sympathy or mere shrugs, has made her a figure of derision. “I think it’s funny that when I go onstage to accept an award, they think I’m nervous, uncomfortable, and awkward—and I am—but those are bad words for them,” Stewart says. Continue reading the rest of this article...

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