Actors like Streep prepare extensively to take us into the world of that character. Likewise, introverts often emphasize how much they prepare for meetings, calls, presentations, etc. so that they perform at their best ( a side note: Meryl Streep is an introvert like many actors).  Yet, despite careful preparation, you can’t always anticipate what is thrown at you.  Handling the moment sometimes trumps preparation.

In this clip of her recent  Golden Globes Acceptance Speech  a great actress is a normal human being. In the blush of winning and kissing her way up to the stage, Ms. Streep forgot her glasses. So how did she handle it? She was refreshingly real (they bleeped out the “Oh ____” ), cracked some jokes and complimented the other nominees (some even more than once:)

I loved her rambling, laughing performance where she played the character she knows best: herself.  Perhaps an extra glass of wine helped. Any scripted thank you she might have had was gone and there she was, like the rest of us, dealing with an “Oh ___” moment.  I will take that real performance over a carefully rehearsed acceptance speech any day.

I agree that it is often the non-verbals that kill the deal. Judging by the  WSJ comments, not everyone agrees. Some write that this kind of training unfairly focuses on women. Others think that it is a topic not even worth writing about. And a few link it to credibilty. I agree with the last camp. How we dress, how we sound and how we use our body do form an impression.

The often quoted stats are that 73% of our impact concerns our vocal and non-verbal presence. While these numbers have been questioned, I do think it is generally true. Leaders can command a room or they can speak and have their message land with a thud. It can be their tight shirt,  lack of eye contact or chair slouching. Either way, it is typically not the content but how they present themselves when delivering it. Introverted and extroverted leaders alike can work at coming across in a more  confident manner.

So how do you get started on enhancing your presence?

The best advice in the article came from James Citron a CEO recruiter for search firm Spencer Stuart. “Imitate their behaviors “that feel comfortable and natural for you,” he recommends. Mr. Citrin cites a CEO candidate he recently watched being interviewed by the board search committee at a $10-billion company. Among other things, the prospect “looked the committee members alternately straight in the eye” as he answered their questions “slowly but very clearly.”

Our hosts were kind enough to gather some of the key points from the program. Let me pass them on to you:

“With its new CEO an introvert, perhaps Google will never tap its inner Apple. But maybe, in the bigger picture, that’s a trade-off worth making. Page is not a CEO out of central casting, despite the fact that Wall Street and the media tend to prefer extroverts as leaders: the superhero who puffs out his chest and delivers bold, motivating pronouncements. ”

The piece also mentions the new research coming out by the Harvard/Wharton/UNC team that we have cited here before. The Gino, Grant and Hofman team found Introverted leaders to be more effective in listening and creating dialogue with their teams. It also makes the case that introverts do well when they integrate some extroverted people and approaches into the mix.

An example: “The hallmarks of Google culture, including the weekly TGIF sessions where Page and Brin take questions from employees, are precisely about creating dialogue. Even if the company relies less on 20% time for unfettered product development, Page’s personal style is likely to keep new ideas flowing…. As the success of the Bing sting indicates, Page seems to be listening to his extroverts in embracing a bolder public profile — not for himself, but for Google.”

It will be interesting to track Larry Page’s career with this I-E perspective in mind.

She sounds humble. While she thought of scrapping the term “first lady” (too egotistical I presume), she did not want to call undue attention to the issue, or herself. “We checked. I would be the only person in the country that we could find who declined to use the title officially. And that just seemed a little pioneering. I didn’t necessarily want to be the first one.”

Sidenote: It reminds me of the shockwaves sent through Arkansas when First Lady Hillary Clinton tried to unsuccessfully keep her maiden name (Rodham) after Bill was elected Arkansas governor. She got too much flack so she went with Clinton.

In addition to being the mother of a young son, Ms. Thorpe  is a successful non-fiction writer. Writing and introverts seem to go together well. My guess is that writing gives her the solitude breaks needed in her public role. Her latest book is  Just Like Us: The True Story of Four Mexican Girls Living in America and she is at work on another.

The governor’s spouse describes herself as “elusive” and  does not crave attention. Reporter Ostrow writes, “….she vows to avoid the spotlight that comes with her husband’s office. An active player behind the scenes…….she is happiest off the radar. Don’t expect a calendar of ladies luncheons, gala sponsorships or parades of her latest fashions. Thorpe is committed to her career as a writer and to staying out of the conversation.”

She also likes quiet. Ostrow writes  ”He could party every night; she craves quiet time. They share a love of live music, but it’s Hick, the rock ‘n’ roll governor, who has been known to drop by local clubs for the midnight show.”She and her husband attend Quaker meetings, where “It’s 90-95 percent introverts. . . we nod hello,” she says, smiling. “It’s very different energy from the state Capitol or City and County Building.”

She also expresses a typical introvert feeling; that they don’t fit in. “In November, just after the election, Colorado’s first couple attended a weekend retreat of the National Governors Association for incoming first families, held in Colorado Springs.Thorpe felt alienated until, in the last hour of the last seminar on the last day, the hulking spouse of a newly elected Western governor stood to say he was having trouble grasping his role in all of this. “That was the person I identified with most, ” she said.

I imagine the new governor’s spouse is not the first politician’s wife to be introverted. She may be the first to be as honest and open about who she is. How refreshing.

Certified Career Coach Hallie Crawford (and introvert, I might add) of Create Your Career Path attended a recent workshop I gave on the Introvert’s Career Path to Success. In it we discussed the “giving and getting agenda.”  One of my favorite non-fluff networking books, Making Contacts Count (AMACOM, 2007) by Lynne Waymon and Anne Baber  describes this concept beautifully.

Check out Hallie’s views on this topic in her  brief video, Stop Talking Business at Networking Events. She also summarized her thoughts on her  blog (which is full of  practical tips).

We  had coffee after the program to learn more about each other.  Hallie is living her career dream and guiding others do the same. She showed a true interest in learning more about my speaking, coaching and writing on IL’s(Introverted Leaders).  The cool thing? We already are supporting each other in our respective businesses.  Building relationships first is truly the key – I love when this stuff works!

The strengths of calm reflection, thinking before talking, and responding before reacting, are assets in the sometimes-chaotic heath care world.  I know of a hospital nurse who had to make a last minute scheduling change with a staff member. She was greeted with an out of control rant. Using a calm tone and taking a breath, she told the staff member to call her back when she had settled down. The staffer did, and they worked out a suitable arrangement.

I love what one introverted unit manager said in Introversion Can Be a Benefit for Nurses In Leadership Positions, an excellent article by Lin Grensing-Pophal in ADVANCE for Nurses, “It’s lonely at the top and introverted leaders don’t have a problem with the solitary nature of the job.”

Also take a look at the Laura Raines’ piece in the AJC Pulse where she profiled introverted Chief Nursing Officer, Joyce Ramsey.

1) Respect for  differences. Sandberg is an extrovert. Zuckerberg is a clear introvert. A lot of people choose to hire people who look exactly like them,” Mr. Zuckerberg says. “Here we just value balance a lot more.”

2) Loyalty - Ms. Sandberg defends her boss against his critics. She says he is warm underneath that reserved exterior.“He is shy and introverted and he often does not seem very warm to people who don’t know him, but he is warm,” Ms. Sandberg says of Mr. Zuckerberg, her voice rising with empathy. “He really cares about the people who work here.”

3) Coaching – They support each other by offering honest and direct feedback. They are not afraid to push back on decisions (ex. Ms. Sandberg disagreed with the details of Zuckerberg’s philanthropic effort) and provide emotional support. “At a technology conference this summer, for instance, Mr. Zuckerberg flopped during an onstage interview. He gave rambling answers to questions about Facebook’s privacy policies, became visibly nervous and started sweating profusely. After the interview, Ms. Sandberg encouraged him not to beat himself up over it, but to focus on parts of the interview that went well so he could do better next time….”

4) Frequent and Regular Meetings – In their Monday morning and Friday afternoon face to face meetings, they address strategy, personnel, deals and each other, according to the article. There is just no getting around sitting down face to face (resisting a pun here).   I am relieved to see these two leaders modeling good ‘ole conversation.

”  I am  considered an introvert and I am transitioning to a leadership role,” he said.

“……The ironic thing for me is that my position requires a lot of public speaking, training and facilitating in meetings. This is not very difficult for me now, nor has it been from the start. I will say that it can be very draining, and very often I will withdraw from the public for hours or the rest of the day after long meetings or training sessions. I dine alone, or take two hour naps to recharge.

The public speaking aspects, as well as the internal and external customer interactions that I am “forced” to do, are not so problematic for me now because I had a similar experience to the individual you referenced who had acting experience in school. I am a musician, and have for much of my life focused on solo piano. There is nothing quite as nerve-racking as walking up to the stage to expose your every weakness, physical and mental, before an audience who is all too familiar with the repertoire. You think you will make a mistake, then you do, and everybody knows when it happened. It often looms larger in the performer’s mind than it does with the audience, and so it eats away at you. The small mistakes can make you that much more nervous during your next performance, and so on.

One of the things I tried to do was to put more focus on the energy or the spirit of the performance, to focus on the performance itself and not the technical aspects of the piece. In this way, someone might say, “oh, it’s a shame you didn’t nail such-and-such a section”; however, they cannot take away from the energy or the emotion of the performance. This makes a performance satisfying to both audience and performer.

Besides all that, it makes public speaking a breeze! I always go into a meeting or a training room with the idea that talking is easier than playing Liszt. I will be a bit more restrained in a public speaking setting than a performance because the end results are different; however, because I have placed my mindset in advance I can methodically present or train and “improvise” as necessary. This way, public speaking becomes like playing and I am never nervous.

My advice for people with public speaking fears is to go out and take some piano lessons, with the goal of performing a piece in a group recital after a year or so. These things are typically arranged by studio teachers, and are great for inviting family and friends. Not only does one benefit from learning a new language, but one also benefits from the trial-by-fire performance of a Mozart trifle, missing some notes, then moving on with life and getting better.”

Thank you, David. Let’s see if anyone takes you up on your suggestion. I hear that playing an instrument also helps your brain cells multiply!

I have been hearing the cry of “enough already” from Introverts. Here is a well expressed example from an introverted virtual assistant.

“Much of my work as a virtual assistant involves social media these days. Initially, this was much easier for me to handle as an (extreme) introvert.  Strangely enough, I find that as friend counts climb and the volume of online communication grows, I react with the same sense of overwhelm, stress and exhaustion as I do to live or phone communications. Have you heard this from others?”, she asks.

I spoke with a social networking guru recently who told me the trend is moving away from massive social networks with random friends and towards more selective managable lists of contacts. He pointed me towards FourSquare, a cool application that lets you share places and updates with friends. This may be one answer for introverts (and extroverts alike) who want to get a handle on more meaningful connections.