There is the right answer; you shouldn’t. There is also the grey response; sometimes it is okay. With the stress everyone faces these days, let’s be real. Sometimes the cursing (or “cussing” as we say down here in Atlanta) feels plain good.

But do be careful about who hears you AND about making it a habit. I sat next to another speaker recently whose body visibly shook as she heard our mutual colleague use a few choice words. Also – it just is not a career enhancing move to be known as the office potty mouth.

Who do you think curses more? Introverts or Extroverts? Because they talk more, are outies the number one cursers? Or, because introverts sometimes bottle up their feelings, do they let them out in form of expletives?

What do you think?

With social media, it is now easier for journalists to find you. Nettie Hartsock, social media strategist, pointed out that over 75% of people writing stories are freelancers who are going to Google to find their sources. How can you be one of the “go to” sources for this pool of reporters?

In my opinion, it is all about helping them out in four key ways.

1)    Pitch them a different angle. When I started my first consulting business in Cincinnati in 1986 I would call up local print reporters with new angles on workplace stories. I had carved out a niche in coaching dual career couples and because women in the workplace were hot, this topic drew them. Dual career couples were a new, growing phenomenon. I began calling them and pitching them other ideas. They seemed to always be looking for that different, timely and counterintuitive take…and still are.

2)    Thank them. This also goes for the times they don’t interview you but ask for some information. You would (or perhaps would not) be surprised to learn that this is an unusual act. Journalists are often evaluated by the number of comments written about their pieces. Sending out their articles to your social networks is another way to express your gratitude and raise their visibility.

3)    Be Generous. Contact journalists when you don’t need something. Send them websites, blog entries and events that might interest them. Also recommend your colleagues and peers as sources. Reporters will be grateful to find terrific resources and they will most assuredly circle back to you on future stories.

4)    Listen well. Over 90% of the 50 journalists I have spoken with about my book, The Introverted Leader: Building On Your Quiet Strength (Berrett-Koehler, 2009) have been introverted. It is a common personality preference for reporters who are self-reflective, inner focused and spend much of their day in the solitary pursuits of research and writing. When I listen to them, they openly share their stories and personal experiences. Most often I have felt  that we were more like colleagues engaged in a stimulating dialogue than reporter and interviewee. The best stories seem to emerge after these discussions.
It is about helping reporters to do their work. The wins are waiting for you and your business.

How Can Introverts Excel in the Workplace?

The taboo about being a quieter leader in a Type A world remains, though. In fact, a reporter for a national news outlet recently shared that she had trouble finding introverted execs who would “go on the record”. Your courage to share how you embrace who you are and also manage your introversion takes us leaps forward. Getting the best out of both the “innies” and “outies” on our teams will lead to positive results for ourselves, our organizations and each other. Kudos to you.”

I knew it was coming.  Honestly though, I read this recent NY Times piece , Don’t Call Me, I Will Call You with mixed emotion. The basic premise is that the telephone is dead.  Pamela Paul writes,

“It’s at the point where when the phone does ring — and it’s not my mom, dad, husband or baby sitter — my first thought is: “What’s happened? What’s wrong?” My second thought is: “Isn’t it weird to just call like that? Out of the blue? With no e-mailed warning?”

Her point is well taken.  We do communicate through email, text and social networking.  When we do choose to talk on the phone, it may be to clear up a misunderstood email or to handle a more complex matter. It is common for us to make appointments for phone calls so we avoid the inevitable telephone tag. I learned this technique from introverted pros who are well prepared for those phone calls when they do occur.

The smart phone now bridges our voices so not all hope is lost for this type of connection. In a world where we are  literally tethered to our machines, it is important to be able to read each other behind the lines. How else might I find out that we are both totally confused about the latest company directive? How can I hear your perceptions about our newest customer and learn about what makes you tick?

So before we say good-bye, let’s look at how we can still use the telephone as one tool among many. It is not ready for the dump just yet, is it?

I know that all of us,  introverts and extroverts, find it difficult to ask for help. We think we need to “have it all together” in today’s competitive corporate cultures. But I wonder; Do quieter women leaders shy away more than their vocal counterparts from reaching out to experienced leaders? In some companies, can being less verbal and more vulnerable derail your career?

Melissa, a savvy introverted marketing director and coaching client worked in a male dominated service business.  She came to me with the news that the newly appointed company president, Lani, was a female. A fast rising star, Lani had jumped through the hoops and placed her last company’s brand on the world map. Melissa was pleased that at last there was now an ambitious female in her midst.

So as her supporter (and goader) I asked Melissa, “Have you scheduled a meeting with Lani to discuss your career development?”  Her silence on the phone told me that the answer was no. Melissa had, in fact,  met with Lani several times to review her business projections and strategy. All was going well on that front.  What she had neglected to do is focus on a critical element; her own future.

Melissa did eventually set up that meeting. Lani offered insights and was very receptive. The two women agreed to meet monthly to discuss challenges and successes.

I know that if Melissa continues to draw from Lani’s experience and insights she will grow from these exchanges with this accomplished leader. She may even realize that she wants to deviate from the senior exec’s game plan. Either way  she will be expanding her knowledge base, perspective and potential network.

There is overwhelming evidence that mentoring works. Recognizing that we are worth developing is an internal hurdle that both introverted and extroverted women need to overcome. And we better get to work quickly on this one.

Of course, I asked Bill about our fave topic: introverted leaders. Here is some of what he shared,