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Applying the 4 ’s Process to Your Job Search

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(click here for more)

http://blog.pdus2go.com/2010/04/30/embrace-solitude/

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A few excerpts with my comments in italics:

Q. What’s it like to work with you day to day? Do you do a lot of all-hands meetings?

A. I’m more low-key. I do walk around. I’m introverted by nature, so I’m not somebody who’s holding sort of big rah-rah meetings. I love the idea of having a big bell outside my office that we can ring when we get a big donation, but it’s just not me. But I do spend time talking with people. She knows herself and what works for her. Connecting one on one works well for introverted leaders.

Q. A lot of managers are introverted, yet they’re expected to be extroverted in leadership roles. What’s your advice for them?

A. Find what fits for you. My predecessor here ran fantastic all-staff meetings every month that were just jaw-droppingly good. She was just so magnetic. I realized pretty quickly that wasn’t a mantle I should try to shoulder. Again, doing it her way, not trying to be someone else.

Q. What’s your best advice to people who are becoming managers for the first time?

A. It’s important that you communicate clearly with people who are going to be reporting to you, that you be as open as possible about who you are, what they should know about you, what they should understand about you, and how you like to operate. Discussing your style is great. Modeling this openness probably helps her team be more open about their preferences. And they know how to approach her.

I remember learning that very early on in my own career — having to sit and think about what I needed to let people know about me. I even said to people that I’ve been told that I look angry a lot of the time, and I’m usually not. It’s just my face, so just don’t be put off by that. Confirms what introverts tell me. People paint all sorts of feelings and attitudes that aren’t there – sadness, depression, etc,  Many female introverts say they are told they are “snobby and stuck up.”

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Blogger Breanne Potter, formerly of the MBTI Blog and now of assessmentbuzz.com told me about the proposed  APA (that’s Psychiatric)  definition of introversion for the new DSM. It really is, as she says, taking the concept of introversion backwards.

According to their proposed definition introversion means “withdrawal from other people, ranging from intimate relationships to the world at large; restricted affective experience and expression; limited hedonic capacity.” That is just the beginning.

Now to be fair, most psychiatric definitions seem a little strong but this really does paint introversion as pathological.

Read Breanne’s excellent take on how the APA is moving backwards by seeing Introversion as a personality disorder. And, if you feel strongly about it, let the APA know. I expressed my opinion on their website and they acknowledged my input.  They are taking comments on this new version of the DSM.  You just have to register to comment.  Let the psychiatrists know what you think! Introversion is not a problem to be solved.

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So I was interested in this article by NY Times writer Sam Dillon about a new trend – wired buses? Wi-Fi Turns Rowdy Bus Into Rolling Study Hall. Apparently, there is a Tuscon, Arizona school district that is touting real results. By allowing kids to do their homework to and from school, performance is improving. Most are very pleased with the new bus.

I am not sure how I feel about this.  Easy for me to say as an adult,  but isn’t the school bus a kind of learning lab for social interaction? We learn how to make conversations and talk to people different than ourselves. We even get some experience in fending off the mean girls and rough boys. And what about getting the real scoop about teachers and school policies, etc.??? All of these are skills that serve us well as we swing through the workplace.

At the same time it seems that allowing introverts the chance to retreat before they have to interact all day at school could be a plus. And how about the extroverts? Might they benefit from a bit of quiet before they hit the school yard? I guess having Facebook available could serve some of their socializing needs.

With the choice of retreating into our laptops 24-7, we need to allow some time to engage with others. Otherwise those people skills become rusty and it is too easy to miss even the beauty of the Arizona landscape.

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Weisberg writes, “….so while many people deeply admire him, few come away from any encounter feeling closer to him. He’s not warm, loyal, or deeply involved with others. His most fervent enthusiasts tend to express affection more for the ideas he represents—America transcending its racial history, a fairer society, rational decision making—than for the man himself.

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Plugging into a cold network of professional and personal connections is hard. People want to know that you are interested in them from time to time, not just when you are job seeking.

So if Sam’s sibling does want to talk to me, I will suggest that he waste no time in connecting with work and professional colleagues, past and present.

I will also share three steps he can take immediately.

1) Prepare 5 questions to ask your contacts on your phone meetings. Show genuine interest in their challenges and successes. It is not all about you. How can you demonstrate knowledge and competence and learn as much as you can in your networking meetings?

2) Study names and use them. Repeat them at least 5 times ( saying it in your head is fine!)

3) When you attend networking events,  follow the advice of a wise introverted networker, He says ” I tell myself I can do anything for 30 minutes!”

And if Sam’s brother doesn’t want to meet with me, that’s okay. I can go ahead and follow my own advice.

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I also plan on checking out  Daniel Pink’s top 10 books from this year. Any other suggestions are welcome! What book have you not been able to put down?

Happy Holidays to All!

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